The Gym Gives Me the Runs...

About a year and a half ago I joined a gym. Now, I've never been a part of the gym culture before, so upon entering into it I found that I didn't exactly fit in. I didn't fit in because I didn't belong to any of the preexisting gym personalities. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's an introduction to some of the native breeds...

  • Cell Phone Treadmill Talker If you've ever been to a gym, you've seen this person. They stay on the treadmill for no less than an hour and talk on their phone the whole time. Have you ever seen that clip on the internet of the guy who gets his treadmill going super fast only to jump on it and fall flat on his face? Yep. Everytime I'm beside a CPTT I want to sneak up in front of them and turn the speed up so that happens to them.

  • Girl Who Never Works Out I'm actually convinced that this girl is part of the gym's plan to keep members from leaving. This is the girl who is always at the gym, but never uses the gym. She usually selects a guy or two to talk to while she's there and spends her time following him around. Occasionally she will ask him to show her how to work out. You can always spot a GWNWO because she's the only girl in the gym with a matching workoutfit.

  • Obnoxious Friend Who Doesn't Workout This guy never comes alone. He can't. He's like a gym +1. He can't get in without the guys he comes with. Like the GWNWO, he never actually uses the gym equipment. He does, however, run his mouth. He's the guy who is always laughing, cracking jokes, and cursing loud enough for everyone in the gym (even the raquetball courts) to hear. The OFWDW will one day find a barbell dropped onto his head, courtesy of yours truely.

  • Back Hair Guy Do you really need an explanation for this? BHG is at every gym. He always wears a tanktop (most of the time it's the kind with a Y in the back). And he always ALWAYS sweats.

  • Giant Covered In Tattoos Guy Who Makes His Own Sound Effects While He Kick Boxes In the Mirror This guy might be a rare breed native only to my gym. I kid you not; he stands in front of the mirror so he can watch himself as he kick boxes. Not only that, but he makes his own sound effects. (Picture a little kid reenacting a ninja fight scene.) This is one of the most dangerous of the gym dwellers, mainly because it's almost impossible to not laugh at him. However, with him being about 6'4" tall and covered in tattoos, my fear of getting pummelled gives me a great deal of assistance in this area.
  • 1 comment:

    Annie Summers said...

    I think that you also left out the old person reading a book on the bicycle. AND the dude with highlights in his hair who walks around and talks to girls on the treadmill... maybe that was just my last gym though?