7/01/2007

Don't Stand... Don't Stand... Don't Stand So Close To Me...

I mentioned here that I don't like it when people stand too close to me while I wait in line in public places. How close is too close? Arm's length. If you're within arm's length of me and I don't know you, you're too close. Well, in the past day and a half my personal space has been violated in major ways...

1) As I stood in line at In-N-Out with friends last night, the guy behind me was so close that the bill on his baseball cap hit the back of my head multiple times. The restaurant wasn't even crowded! Around the third time it started to make me mad. I was beginning to turn around to say something, when the cashier asked me what I would like. At this point, my hunger superceded my need for personal space. Editor's Note: Let this be a lesson. If a guy's hungry, and you have food, he'll tolerate all manner of discomfort.

2) Today, while waiting in the checkout line at Wal-Mart, a lady stood behind me so close that while she folded her shirt she continually brushed my back with her hand. Having already endured the excruciating torment of this at In-N-Out, I decided to go on the offensive. So, I simply turned around and faced her. I didn't say a word and I didn't stare at her. I just turned around. But it was useless. She still continued to stand too close and even began to INCH EVEN CLOSER! So, I purchased my Blow Pops and booked it on out of there.

People, I beg you, if the Police have a song about it, it's a necessary social behavior. Except Every Breath You Take... Don't do that...

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