1/24/2008

Mark Twain Was a Whole Lot Smarter Than Me...

I'm bored out of my mind...

As a result of this, I've taken to watching (and re-watching) my TV on DVD collection and reading everything I can get my hands on while I do this. Everything...

For instance, this morning, I've been re-watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Thank you, Alice) and reading as much about Mark Twain as I can.

Why Mark Twain? I don't know.

Anyway, my readings led me to pages and pages of quotes attributed to him. In reading those quotes, I've come to two conclusions: 1) Mark Twain was much smarter than me, and 2) He was a master at using rhetoric to spin his wisdom into bite-size nuggets that go down easy but get stuck in your brain.

Here's some of my favorites...

  • Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

  • All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

  • Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

  • I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

  • In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

  • Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

  • You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

  • The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

  • Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

  • Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

  • He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

  • The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

  • Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

  • Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

  • It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
  • 1 comment:

    Julie Hibbard said...

    My favorite is,"If you always tell the truth...you'll never have to remember anything..."