Some people become jerks. Some people develop addictions. Others take out their stored up emotions by hitting the gym. (I wish that was me.) But I've always turned inward.
Since I was fourteen I've dealt with my feelings by retreating emotionally and physically. Editor's Note: By the way; I'm not endorsing this method of catharsis, as it always proves quite ineffective. I'm just stating the facts of my past... I become a hermit. I'm pretty sure that this stems from a long standing fear that, if people knew what I was really thinking or feeling, they would judge and abandon me. I know this isn't healthy. And, although I know I've gotten better over the years, I know I still have a long way to go.
That being said, I've found myself responding (out of habit) in the same way that I have in the past to my present circumstances. I've walled myself off emotionally and physically from the world. And I didn't even realize I was doing it. Not until Last week.
Last week, I had had enough of my self-imposed exile. So, I began calling my friends. So far, this week, I've had lunch or coffee with four different people. I've got two others (as well as a big group on Saturday night) lined up for this weekend.
And it's been a small piece of heaven...
Anyone that says that they don't need anyone else in the world is either trying to deceive you or being successful in deceiving themselves.
And, in talking with my friends (and my great-aunt and great-uncle), I've been able to experience their love and concern for me in amazing ways. Along with that love, has come some incredible pearls of wisdom. Some of which, I'd like to share with you now. Hopefully, they'll speak to you as they've spoken to me...
-and here's one that totally kicked my butt today-