This past week, I've been organizing (hacking) it, and transferring and consolidating a few things from other journals. Today, I came across some things I had written on a personal retreat in last year.
Way back on August 29th of last year (2007), I took a retreat out into the desert. I left before sunrise and returned after sunset. I fasted for the whole day and spent the day praying, reading, meditating, and journaling. Today, as I went back over my six pages of written notes (which I haven't done since originally writing them), I was amazed at the similarities between what God was saying to me then and what He's been saying to me in the past month. Here's a few.
We don't pray to get the answer we want. We pray to get the answer God wants.
From my post called Good Advice...: There's a big difference between praying for God to show us what He wants and praying for God to bless what we want. There's been so many times that I've gone to God thinking that I'm praying for His will, and that He's remaining silent. When what I'm really doing is telling Him what I want and asking Him to make it happen. You've got to figure out how to want what God wants more than what you want. I think Jesus said something about this in Matt. 6:33...
Do I really know how to love? Do I really know how to die to myself?
From my post called Birth Control...: Why is it so easy for me to put others before myself in my professional life, but so hard for me to do it in my personal life?
Could God be using this as another call to trust Him? Could He be asking me to trust Him to work for what's best?
From my post called You Say, I Only Hear What I Want To...: Every time I worried, I stopped and prayed for God to help me move past what I want, and asked for what He wants for my life.
Knowing about someone is not the same as being in relationship with them, allowing yourself to fall in love with them.
From my post called Important Thoughts #9...": Every now and then, I wonder whether or not I've fallen in love with God. I wonder if I would cast everything aside, and risk looking like a fool, all for the chance to win His favor.
When considering a choice, ask "What gives me life more?"
From my post called Good Advice...: When you find God's calling for your life, you get two things: you get peace from the feelings of chaos that are a result of God shaking things up in your life, and you get energized to move into the next stage of it.
Spooky huh? Why would God tell me something back then, and then without me realizing, tell me the same things again over the course of the past month? Perhaps because I didn't learn the lesson the first time. Or perhaps because I couldn't learn the lesson back then.
This REvelation definitely gives me more to think about heading into Easter...