I was sitting in Borders as I wrote that post. As I left to drive home, I plugged in my iPod and played the song. Already having it stuck in my head, it didn't take much more than half a listen to have it etched into my memory for the majority of today too. And even though I used one lyric from I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For in my previous post, it was a different lyric that drew my attention today.
"I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone."
This particular lyric struck me because I think it communicates something about sin that we don't talk a lot about in the church. Bono sings of how, in a time when he was cold as a stone, he held the hand of a devil. And it kept him warm. I might be reading in to this a bit, but I think that this lyric is speaking of how, at times, we turn to sin to comfort.
And sometimes, it works... Never in the long term. But still...
I think that this is a symptom of our brokenness. I said yesterday that we are programmed to search outside of ourselves for our value. God's intent in doing this, was to draw us to search for Him to achieve wholeness. But our brokenness makes us think we can achieve this by turning to things which are only temporary. Bono goes on to sing, even after he held a devil's hand and was warmed by it, that he still hadn't found what he was looking for. He recognized that, even if he did receive temporary relief, ultimately, he didn't receive satisfaction.
This is a truth that I've come to see played out in my own life. I've seen how, in the past, in wanting to fill a void left from dissatisfaction, I've turned to things that I know are wrong. Things that were awesome temporary band-aids. Things that ended up, in the long run, hurting me more than they helped.
I think one conclusion to this would be a feeling of defeat. But I don't think that's the right conclusion. If anything, I feel like the recognition of our failure to find satisfaction in sin should propel us forward in our search for God.
Jesus said in Matt. 7:7 that if we seek him, we'll find him. This gives me hope. I know that, one day, We'll find what we're looking for...