When everyone else said it couldn't be done; we did it. When the waves of oppression wished to whisk us away into a sea of others who had tried and failed; we stood firm. In fact, we peed in those waves. We pretended like they weren't metaphorical ocean waves, but that they were metaphorical waves from someone we vaguely knew in high school. Then, we ignored those waves and pretended to be answering a cell phone call from someone important. Why? Because we knew what needed to be done.
We weren't afraid to roll up our sleeves. To take off our watch. To furrow our brow. To ask someone else to do it. Then, when someone else chickened out, to try bribery. Then when we realized that we only had $2.63, to say, "Forget you guys! We'll show you how brave we really are!" So we snuck up on it from behind and sucker punched it right in the kidney. Yeah, that's right. We were that determined.
So what did we do? What no one else was willing to. To go the distance. To fight the good fight. To rock the casbah. To stare the devil in the face and say, "Yeah. I'll take your bet. And by the way, you're going to regret it because I'm the best that's ever been. But when I win, I don't want a stupid fiddle made of gold. Because that thing probably weighs 100lbs. And who wants to carry that around? How about you just cut me a check? Frankly, I've fallen behind on some bills and I could use some help catching up." And you know what? We killed it. We won. And we endorsed that check. Then, we took it to the bank. And after that, we went out and bought a golden fiddle. Why? Because the more we thought about it, the more we realized how cool that thing would look next to our trophy for playing baseball in 3rd grade. We worked hard for both of those things and our grandmother deserves to be able to look at something that proves her grandbaby isn't a loser.
Maybe one day they'll understand the importance of what we've done. They'll recognize our accomplishment alongside other great events in history. Like the time that guy ate 59.5 hotdogs in 12 minutes. Or that time JFK met Forrest Gump. Maybe they'll see us for what we really are: the champions of the world.
If there's one thing I want for you to take away from this, it's that we can accomplish anything together. Yes we can. That, and can I borrow some money? I blew all of mine on some stupid golden fiddle...