Yes, I Talk To Myself About the G.I. Joe Movie...

Oh summer movies... How you own me.

Right now, an internal struggle is happening within me. A... debate, if you will, over the movie G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It's been going something like this...

"OMLGG! G.I. Joe movie!!!"

"But dude, did you see who's directing it? Stephen Sommors. Stephen Sommors, dude! He made Van Helsing!"

"But he also made The Mummy... And that wasn't totally bad."

"But you've seen how they make Cobra Commander look here and here. There's no way that they're going to respect anything from the cartoon..."

"But you know they can't translate things directly. It'd look crazy..."

"Right. But have you seen the poster?"


"And don't get me started on the "accelerator" suits. G.I. Joe is supposed to be the best operatives on the planet. They don't need Metroid suits to get the job done! Why do they need suits but Cobra doesn't?"

"Because... because... umm..."

"Mmm hmm..."

"You know that this is pointless, right? You know you're still going to see this movie no matter how bad they mess it up?"

"Well yeah, but... Shut it you..."

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