12/01/2009

Desperation...

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my love for God. Wait... I think it's probably more like this: Lately, I've been thinking a lot about God's love for me, and how I respond to that love. While His love for me is perfect, my response is very far from that.

I've written before about how being "in love" can motivate us to do things we'd never do out of self discipline or motivation. It compels us to act. We can't fight it. But as I've been thinking about my response to God, I've been reminded of a visual that I got a few years ago.

When I was a little kid, one of my aunts got a swimming pool in her backyard. (I was so excited about this, I jumped in with all of my clothes on before the concrete walkway that goes around it was even finished.) During the summer, my brother, cousins and I would go swimming everyday. It was awesome!

And one of my favorite things to do in the pool was to swim down to the bottom of the pool and see how long I could hold my breath. I can't exactly remember what my record was. But I'm sure it was both impressive and awesome.

I can still remember floating on the surface, taking in a giant breath, and diving down farther than was possible for other, mere mortal, humans. (Hey, at the time I thought six feet was pretty deep. OK?) Once I made it to my intended depth, I would sit indian style at the bottom of the pool and count how many one thousands (seconds... duh) I could get to before having to swim back up.

Of course, the inevitable reaction I would have is that of slight panic. The longer I stayed on the bottom, the more time seemed to slow down. I would begin to feel the pressure of the water all around me. My chest would start to involuntarily heave in and out as my body would instinctively try to breathe. Then, without knowing how or why, I would feel my legs straighten out, touch the bottom of the pool, and push off. As fast as I could, I would race desperately toward the surface. Finally, I would burst through and gulp in a giant breath of air. And that breath of air was always the best. It was as if that one breath brought me back to life.

And that's how I want to respond to God's love for me.

I want there to be desperation in my response. I want to want God like I wanted that breath. Desperately... Because I know that if I don't reach Him, I won't make it...

1 comment:

Terrace Crawford said...

Funny, I actually use this illustration in messages sometime.


--Terrace Crawford
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